The Good with The Bad

Yesterday was a rough day.

I received word in the morning that a family friend (who I suspect was about 20 years old) was killed serving in Afghanistan.  Although I've been aware in principle of the fact that people are giving their lives for this country on a regular basis, this is easily the closest to home this truth has hit for me.  My heart aches for the family, whom I know well.

Beth had been out of town this weekend at the wedding of one of her friends from college.  She called yesterday evening to inform me of a change of plans; she needed to help drive another friend that had been attending back to Missouri.  This particular friend had just received a call alerting her that her father had unexpectedly died of a massive heart attack.  He was 55.

Now, I suppose I tend to think of myself as someone who has been graced with more discernment than average when it comes to coping with difficult situations like these and that I am also usually pretty good about seeking an eternal perspective and resting in the peace that comes with that.  But not today.  Maybe that will come, but right now I have no strength or wisdom to offer; I feel completely inadequate.  I suspect there are two possible explanations for this:  either (1) I am simply not in an appropriate place spiritually to know God's purpose in what has occurred or that (2) I am simply responding as the emotional, weak, and inadequate creature that I am.

In this case, there's probably truth to both explanations, but I think it raises an interesting question about the responsibility or usefulness of the Church in these sorts of situations.

There may not be a more painful experience in life than losing a child, but losing a parent before his or her time would follow somewhere close.  Fortunately, in both of these cases, the individuals lost were believers.  Of course, this still leaves behind two grieving families that the Church can and should reach out to in what I believe are two main ways.  The first is through support (i.e. that we should offer hope, wisdom, understanding, encouragement, etc in so much as we are able).  And the second, which I think we may overlook at times, is through participation.  In scripture, we're told to share each other's burdens, to come along side one another and to mourn with those who mourn.  There is something God-ordained about this type of activity that allows us to tap in to the maximal amount of good that can come from something bad.  I think God wants all of us to grow in and through the experiences of one another.  The truly amazing thing is that He's created a system (the Church) that actually permits this.  The Church is supposed to be an intimate community of brothers and sisters; it's supposed to be united, to be and behave as one body.  When it manifests as intended, it permits the corporate sharing of life's ups and downs with one another and ultimately reflects the love and intimacy that Christ has with us, which glorifies Him.

I'm certain the families of those lost yesterday are feeling inadequate, but maybe my feelings of inadequacy aren't entirely inappropriate.  Rather, perhaps I honor their suffering and their loved ones by sharing in their pain and letting God extend its impact to my life, by letting God accomplish the maximum amount of good from this.

The Church is not as unified or as intimate as it should be, and that is just a reflection of our culture.  I think God designed us to be more tightly and genuinely connected (facebook friends was not in the original plan) so that we really could be enacted upon, sharpened, and shaped as a single entity.  Think about the impact that sort of reality would generate.

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Anyway, in an effort to be efficient....let me switch gears and give an update on what Beth and I've been up to:

The hospital ministry has been more rewarding for us, I'm sure, than for anyone we've reached out to.  We feel God's pleasure with it but are struggling to get "referrals."  The bright spot in yesterday's gloom was the discharge of a friend with renal cell cancer.  She was able to have her tumor completely taken out and I believe she should be completely cured!  It was a pleasure getting to know her and her family.

Beth has to go back to school tomorrow (who's going to do all the chores around the house?!) although the kids don't actually show up until after Labor Day.  I will miss having her at home.  Hopefully some day I'll get a job where she doesn't have to work if she doesn't want to.

Research is going well and I love what I do and the people I work with.  Truly blessed to stumble into what I'm doing.  Classes are also going well but the sum of a full time job and being a full time student keeps me busier than I probably should be at times.  Trying to work on a healthy balance here as the pain is mostly self-inflicted!  If you're interested in thinking about the science and theory of healthcare delivery, you can read my blog post here.

And, as far as my health, it's ups and downs always.  Great days alternate with not so great ones.  Nothing really specific to report but prayers are always welcome.  I will try to get a post up soon about the fact that I'm now 2 years post-transplant!

all for now.