The Cancer Chronicles, #2

*The Cancer Chronicles is a re-posting of blog updates I gave during my initial diagnosis and treatment*

June 1, 2011:

Well, the first round of intense chemo is officially over and things have gone about as well as can be expected.  It has been encouraging to see the University wards from the patient's perspective and I have gained a lot of respect and appreciation for the commitment of the doctors and nurses here on 5 East--they're really top notch and I am proud to have them as colleagues.

Clinically, I've taken the expected and desired response of a leukemic marrow to chemotherapy (now officially neutropenic).  Until my counts rebound I'm very susceptible to infection, which means I can barely leave my room and only then with a mask (serious cabin fever).  All visitors need to be screened and disinfected.  Even the beautiful flowers I've been receiving have to hang out at the nurses' station until we know my immune system is strong enough to handle whatever bugs they might bring with them. 

I continue to be overwhelmed by all the support, prayers, and encouragement of people from literally all over the country.  It convicts me more than you realize to see how easy it is for you all to care about other people, even people you don't know personally or may not have seen in years.  I can learn a lot from many of you about how to better love people.  Special appreciation to my family and my girlfriend, Beth (who got way more than she bargained for in this whole thing but is a constant source of encouragement and an example of Godly dependence).

I still hear occasional frustrations from some who feel that this whole thing "isn't fair" or that God shouldn't put me through this, or whatever.  To you, I can only offer the encouragement of knowing that I am fine.  So if you're mad at God on my behalf, don't be....you actually have no grounds to be, as He's covered me in peace and equipped me well to get through this better off than I was before.  But if you're mad at God more in principle or frustrated with the idea of suffering, I'd encourage you to spend some time in the Word (James, 1 Peter) and in prayer. 

Indeed, there is nothing for me to be angry about.  I can feel nothing but blessed.  In a world that is broken and fleeting, I, like everyone else, am but a vapor--here today and gone tomorrow.  But in an amazing act of grace, God has chosen to show me the truth of how things are, fill me with that wisdom, and place His Spirit in me.  I can't think of a greater place to be.  Pray for the people that do not have this knowledge, and especially pray for the people I should have shared it with.

For my more clinically-oriented friends and colleagues:  The plan is to repeat a bone marrow biopsy in about a week.  I'm continuing the dasatanib (a 2nd-gen Gleevec analog) for presumed, atypical CML.  Have to wait for the marrow to bounce back and see if it behaves like a typical chronic-phase CML or wants to go back into a de novo blast crisis.  Either way, making connections with Mayo now for anticipated BMT.

All for now.